I have a problem.
When I go on job interviews, they say “You’ve had a diverse array of jobs.”But what they mean is that I haven’t picked a career and stuck to it. So they don’t know what to make of me or what I bring to the table.
When I talk to people, they ask “What are your goals?” “What are your passions?” But what they mean is tell me what you give a shit about so I can understand why should I give a shit about you.
When I talk to acquaintances, they wonder: “When are you getting married? When are you having kids?” But what they mean is why don’t you live life the way we think you’re supposed to, at your age.
Essentially they’re all saying the same thing: Why can’t you just be someone we can categorize, pin down and box in?
And what I want to tell them is: Let me be all of those things or none of those things. Let me wander aimlessly in life. Let me stand for nothing. Or stand for something sometimes. Let me be alone. Or be with whoever I want. Let me do nothing with myself or let me decide to do something cool. Let me work a bunch of shitty jobs I hate while I figure it all out.
Personal websites or blogs are a dime a dozen, they said. You need a niche, they said.
Write about gentrification. Or your life. Or this. Or that.
No. Yes. Maybe.
I’ll do things on my own terms. I’ll be the person I want to be. Not the one I should be so I can fit into some sort of category that I can capitalize on.
I shouldn’t. I can’t. And I won’t
If that makes me a bit nebulous then so be it. If people aren’t sure what I have to bring to the table, that’s fine. If they think I lack ambition or drive or focus, then that’s ok too. If they don’t know who I am, I can live with that.
You may not know what to make of me or this site, by extension.
But maybe that’s the point because neither do I.